loves

it's been a rough week.

kobe's exhausted.

but we made it.

i think.

and now, it's valentine's day!

this afternoon, i attempted to recollect a series of valentine's day gifts given to me by jeremy scott linneman, but the most i could remember was chocolate, the movie hitch, and non-alcoholic wine on our first ever (pre-21 years old) valentine's day, which was actually before we were dating but both thought the other was realllly cute. i recall giving jeremy a homemade card quoting elvis on said first valentine's day; front: "a wise man once said 'a little less conversation'" inside: "i've been enjoying a little more conversation myself, hmm?" code for: "in about a month should we go on a sunrise to sunset date and then get married a year and a half later?" also, elvis is a big part of our relationship. seriously. think: stories of elvis' legitimate cousin living across the street from jeremy's parents helps jeremy woo jessie. i love that our first valentine's day had a strong elvis presence.

anyway, this year's valentine's day comes at the end of a pretty rough week. my super manly handsome husband was wiped out pretty bad by the flu. for a week. like, not the "flu," as in he's not feeling so hot but the actual flu virus. but he's on the mend! so tonight was bluegrass burgers take-out PLUS i got to drive to go get it all by myself, ie. enjoy the normal everyday pastime that has become luxury known as alone time away from home driving in a car listening to music. dinner was followed by a family drive through cherokee park, ie. we just really need to get these boys in their carseats and get out of this apartment. and now we're going to complete the evening by watching some parks and recreation. love.

other things/people i love:

this guy, in just woke up from a nap mode.

my motor scooter boots.

jude. also, his outfit said "rock and roll" on the back.

jude smiling his joseph's-around-me smile.

i just asked jeremy if he wanted me to add a picture of him in the things/people i love list. his response: "i don't like my face on the internet." so, i love him too, but, well, he doesn't like his face on the internet.

happy valentine's day, friends :)

i tried to get the boys to do a little valentine's day project today.

it didn't go so well.

sorry, guys. especially you, jude :)

my sister's getting married in june. i just got to proofread her invitation, and, with heart-stopping drama, i noticed right before i sent the all-clear that there was an "at" at the end of the line that says "joyfully request the honour of our presence at" AND at the beginning of the next line that says "at an outdoor ceremony uniting." sigh. could have been bad. we have our wedding invitation framed on our wall, and i've found myself searching for typos many a time. i haven't found one yet. oi, that'll be the day. :)

speaking of marriage, we are going on a bed & breakfast getaway a couple of weeks from now. it's going to be wonderful. our last getaway was to gulf shores when i was pregnant with joseph. that's a long time and a toddler ago. i'm excited.

hmm..what else? it's been a good week. we went to comfy cow (a wonderful bright pink ice cream shop) twice. my parents came to visit on saturday, so we took them that night. then, last night, about two minutes after jeremy left for the evening, joseph, with extremely effective persuasiveness for a two-year-old, said, "hey, mama.. you wanna go to comfy cow?" yes. yes, i do. we did. the first time we took joseph to comfy cow, he kept looking around saying "i like this." i think he was trying really hard to communicate sheer joy.

and it's been a good week outside of comfy cow. :) i feel like i've had lots of wow, i'm not alone in this thought conversations. refreshing. and we got to spend friday outside. beautiful. and i made some things: a couple of cards





and a sweet lego staircase



a really good week. how was yours?

breakthrough.

and i'm through with my blog break. blog break through? :)

i read i think one of my favorite articles ever in time magazine yesterday. it began with the author hiding in a bathroom while at a cocktail party. tractor beam: sucked me right in. once, when i went to kansas city and happened to meet all of jeremy's high school friends and distant relatives in one weekend before he left for alaska for the summer, i hid in a bathroom. and did pushups.

so anyway, the article is so good. it's about being introverted. and i am. sort of. okay, a lot, i think.

the reason i like it so much is the ending. the author has spent the entire article describing characteristics of introverts, almost to the point where the validating-resonating-encouraging effect is wearing off and things are starting to feel a bit hopeless for a reader who doesn't want to just call themselves an introvert and stop there. at the very end, he describes this professor who is extremely introverted yet teaches one of the most popular classes at harvard, spending most of his time lecturing and speaking. the professor calls this a phenomenon, the free trait theory: "the idea that while we have certain fixed bits of personality, we can act out of character in the service of core personal goals." he still feels stress in his position, but he's able to go on because, he says,  "the value of lecturing and speaking -- of truly connecting with his students -- trumps the discomfort his introversion can cause him."

i thought of playgroup. or sojourn on a sunday. so many people. i can go home lonely when i choose to let my fear of meeting someone new or having an awkward i actually don't know what to say conversation with somebody i sort of know trump the desire i have to connect with people and develop authentic friendships. and i thought of joseph, my sweet little introvert. he wants to have friends and play kindly with them, but he gets overwhelmed and selfish and he hits and screams no and pushes down babies. gulp.

i think there's more to it than being introverted for me. and for joseph. for me, there's a fear of man idol. i've been realizing/God's been showing me how exhausting and lonely and lifeless it is to fear man. i'm reading you can change by tim chester, and in this book, the author challenges readers to recognize the lie that is behind every sin and negative emotion and instead turn to truth. to choose that which satisfies over that which does not. kind of like the professor -- he chooses to his way more satisfying professor-ship over unsatisfying hiding in the bathroom.

i want to choose fear of God over fear of man.

but i need help.

i lift up my eyes to the hills.
from where does my help come?
my help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth. -- psalm 121:1-2

the Lord is my light and my salvation;
whom shall i fear?
the Lord is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall i be afraid? -- psalm 27:1

two breakthroughs of the week: joseph got through a playdate without attacking his friend. huge. we prayed beforehand and saw God work so clearly in softening his heart. and i got through a playgroup without freaking out about what everyone thought of me. also huge. God is working in our hearts. we're introverts. and sinners. and we need him to help us.

oh, annnd here are my kids:

happy tuesday, friends. :)

new year new you

i'm pretty sure i'd be fundamentally against new year's resolutions if i thought about it long enough. i try my best to shed my just-do-your-best life philosophy, and resolutions are the kind of thing i can take and make into a basically-jessie-you-need-to-be-perfect goal for myself. which is gross.

so, no resolutions this year. :)

i am, however, going to make a concentrated effort to be a bit more intentional in a couple of areas of my life. laundry and friendships.

here's to 2012. which, by the way, do you say two-thousand-twelve or twenty-twelve?

wonderful christmas time

i added peppermint simple syrup to my life, and the season has never felt merrier.

actually, despite all my favorite mom-bloggers' sternest warnings, our season has felt more busy than merry, although i know it's possible to be merry and busy at the same time. for me, it's more like lists of things to buy at joann fabric running through my mind in the middle of the night -- and that really happened.

i found myself in christmas craziness again last night, and i think my brain exploded, because suddenly i was surrounded by the cutouts of millions (well, eight) paper snowflakes and then a few minutes later they replaced the autumn leaves on our kitchen window mobile and then a few minutes later i was asleep. yep.

so, this morning, when i asked joseph if he wanted to put on his jeans so that we could go to old navy (followed by joann and goodwill and maybe hobby lobby) (seriously), and he said no, i went with it (telling him, of course, that technically the correct answer was "yes, mama."). watching him play michael jordan in his thomas underwear, running the entire length of our apartment to dunk and fall on the floor dramatically (or run back to the kitchen to try again when he missed) was a lot more fun.

then, this afternoon, i got to spend the second half of jude's nap with him. is there anything more glorious? i'm not sure. that cuddly little but actually really big babe is growing on me. :)

in reflection, we did have an event/friends hang out/errand/the like every day of last week, and some of those days had multiple happenings. that's a tiring week without presents and holiday plans to think about. after reading this post, i've been thinking a lot about what our weeks look like -- what's best for mama and boys and husband and family and friends. i don't know that i'll go down to one event a week, but this past week was definitely too many.

i'm thankful today's slow down and breathe day of the pre-christmas season happened on december 12th. because i don't really want to spend the remaining time of anticipating christmas in anxious anticipation. christmas is celebrating Christ coming to be with us. and He has taken away my reason to be anxious!

also, at the request of my dear friend, jamie, i'm rereleasing (what i think is) the greatest christmas mix ever mixed, the one and only, it's all christmas! in this special edition, i'm including both the hillary duff and paul mccartney versions of wonderful christmas time to delight both classic and contemporary fans alike. who wants one? for real, i might be so well-rested and merry after today that i may send you a copy.

happy tuesday, friends :)

(yep, this is real. i don't believe it either.)

some moments from this week:

joseph methodically grouping all of his cars and trucks. one night, jeremy found joseph reading stories to all of the vehicles. order to the two-year-old chaos is so fascinating.

an afternoon of (finally) folding (overflowing baskets of) laundry so vigorously that i (nearly) started sweating, all the while finding myself rehearsing fighting words to be had between laundry and me -- my favorite: "alright laundry, let's dance." does taking pictures of laundry make it go away faster? no. no, it does not.

baby jude and big boy joseph take a bath. separately. adorably.

i'm not sure this moment was anything but a mama wants a picture of herself with jude moment. still, a good moment.

happy tuesday, friends. :)