this is a story.

and this week:

my sweet sister in the far away hospital with crazy wisdom teeth infection
and a dearest friend announcing she's moving to pittsburgh this summer

and me thinking real thoughts of no, seriously, what am i doing? that don't really sound so much like sighing mom thoughts but more i don't know about this anymore

and exploring our block to find a tree trimming crew and a prop plane windmill AND a train
and plotting a garden in the muddy part of our yard and explaining we can eat what will (hopefully) grow
and cutting out letters to welcome a babe due any day
and joseph telling me exactly how big he is to pour his own green juice in a cup with no help
and meals and help (still!) coming as jeremy recovers from surgery

is part of it.
my tiny small part of it to tell this week.

and how is it that my heart knows and sees how it is all pointing to the Lord? how it is down and painful and refreshing and scary and full and all the while He is moving and active and loving?

so often i want a conclusion.

to phone calls that hurt my heart
to struggles with sin
to really if i hate facebook so much i should just quit
to finding friends and happily bar-b-q-ing on summer nights ever after

but
it's not the end yet!
i mean really, this was just a week. a big week, yes, but this is  a huge story.
and it's not really even mine. it's His.
it's true.

maybe instead of a conclusion i should ask for a new song to sing while the story goes on.

"He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord."
psalm 40:3