fifteen minutes left on the rice cooking thoughts:

i hope that someday my boys remember this home as the one that always sounded like prop planes flying overhead. i hope that thought fills them with home feelings.

 

reading this today -- "lift up your eyes all around, and see; they all gather together, they come to you; your sons shall come from afar, and your daughters shall be carried on the hip. then you shall see and be radiant; your heart shall thrill and exult ... " (isaiah 60:4-5) -- made me want a daughter (who i carry on my hip), even though i know it's not actually supposed to be a read-this-and-want-a-daughter passage :) following the story/journey of this family from our church back in missouri makes me think about how maybe that daughter could be adopted. how incredible to hear their story of being handed their daughter and from that point on being her parents.

pandora is nice but sometimes it makes me nostalgic, and i think the greatest description of nostalgia was in this episode of mad men when don draper calls it "...a twinge in your heart, far more powerful than memory alone."

this is my favorite thing i've ever made:

and these are my favorite about-to-become-parents-who-are-awesome sister and husband who visited us this weekend:

when i was pregnant with joseph, melissa made me a beautiful bird mobile that became more of a mama-mobile given that i have never tired of starting at it. and i get really excited imagining meliss with her newborn babe looking at this mobile and trying to decide which hot air balloon is her favorite in the way i could never quite decide on my favorite bird. i can't wait for them to meet their babe.

lars and the real girl was a really good movie. my favorite scene was when the sister-in-law tells lars how everyone in the whole town is taking in bianca because of him.

this book is incredible and practical and one i think i'll return to as our boys travel from stage explorer in which they want to climb and experience and adventure to each new age. right now, the authors say my boys primarily need open space, boundaries, consistency and understanding. open space, in particular: true that. oh, spring, come quick. we are so enjoying straight to the backyard spend an hour outside life these warm(er) days.

we sold our accord for $300. jeremy's parents bought it for $500 four years ago and gave it to us. shaboom.

and finally, i know these are like four/more? years old, but this:

 made me laugh really hard. and want to quit my blog. or just keep it going but take it less seriously :)

there is entirely too much ryan gosling in this post, and i apologize.

this is a story.

and this week:

my sweet sister in the far away hospital with crazy wisdom teeth infection
and a dearest friend announcing she's moving to pittsburgh this summer

and me thinking real thoughts of no, seriously, what am i doing? that don't really sound so much like sighing mom thoughts but more i don't know about this anymore

and exploring our block to find a tree trimming crew and a prop plane windmill AND a train
and plotting a garden in the muddy part of our yard and explaining we can eat what will (hopefully) grow
and cutting out letters to welcome a babe due any day
and joseph telling me exactly how big he is to pour his own green juice in a cup with no help
and meals and help (still!) coming as jeremy recovers from surgery

is part of it.
my tiny small part of it to tell this week.

and how is it that my heart knows and sees how it is all pointing to the Lord? how it is down and painful and refreshing and scary and full and all the while He is moving and active and loving?

so often i want a conclusion.

to phone calls that hurt my heart
to struggles with sin
to really if i hate facebook so much i should just quit
to finding friends and happily bar-b-q-ing on summer nights ever after

but
it's not the end yet!
i mean really, this was just a week. a big week, yes, but this is  a huge story.
and it's not really even mine. it's His.
it's true.

maybe instead of a conclusion i should ask for a new song to sing while the story goes on.

"He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord."
psalm 40:3

refreshed, energized, motivated:
to come home and quick do the dishes and get dinner going and set the timer to fifteen minutes and see what kind of post comes out while jeremy is still on a chick-fil-a ice cream date with the boys

by:
mama time and how i put so much pressure on it and don't know how to relax and don't know why i'm doing it until i come home and feel, ahh, rested

this sermon and how everything under the sun ultimately is meaningless (and how frustrating the first part of this sermon felt) UNTIL we see how in Christ nothing is meaningless. give a listen. even if you don't listen to sermons ever.



this book and fresh thinking on how i can nurture my family (tonight by providing dinner for them), how the Lord calls us to the mundane repetitive and how good it has been to connect those thoughts with the sermon above

this post and wow, she's like a real person! thoughts and loving that she listened to the Lord and gave up her online voice in obedience

diapers FINALLY in the laundry

the sweet surprise of a christmas mix from my sister with bonus tracks at the end that make me feel so loved

a healthy dose of afternoon caffeine with just a pump of peppermint and a little sugar

this quick dinner being done and done and delicious

the space my soul needed today to rest

oh, and this:

love.

new year new you

i've been reflecting.
but because i can get kind of wordy and because i'm sort of itching to try out my new connected knitting needles and continue where i left off in parenthood, i'll keep it brief. :)


in 2012:

"hey mama, when i grow up i'm going to be an airplane. my face is going to be the nose, my arms are going to be the wings, and my feet are going to be the (lowers voice) horizontal stabilizers.." was one of my favorite things joseph said.

i learned that i can't love people if i'm afraid of them.

we bought a house.

i discovered the wonderful laundry folding motivation that is parenthood on netflix.

and more.


in 2013:

i want to SEE my boys. i don't want to escape when it's tough -- i want to dive in in those moments. (remind me that i concluded this after experiencing day 1 of grabbing my phone and zoning out when chaos begins to mount vs. day 2 of being the pilot in the airplane closet.)

i want to see how taking a break from sugar makes me feel. i bet better. i just have to get past this week, right?

i want to make things. because it really is fun to make things.

and more. probably something about meal planning and being more relationally intentional :)


happy new year!

wonderful Christmas time:

Jesus getting involved. this sermon. and this one. seriously.

grace upon grace (upon grace upon grace)(etc.) and telling joseph "hey, i feel silly, but i have to tell you something again this morning. can you guess what?" "i'm sorry?" "yep."

mailing a package of cheer by christmas eve for $19 when the first quoted price was $68

settling (gradualllly) into our new home (pictures.. someday)

peppermint americanos

mama time

cutting out strips of red paper and stapling them together in swirls and scrolls

19 degrees this morning

seeing sisters in 3 days

and brothers

and brother-in-laws

and baby to join us soon shryock

and a car to get us there to boot

flannel and cardigan (somebody please tell me if this is not allowed)

reflections on 2012 and so much so much the Lord has done

jude discovering on december 21 that wrapped presents under the tree can be unwrapped

a video for my secret santa to be made...umm..today?

a (free) rug big enough to perfectly make joseph's attic room cozy

a (free) train table hiding in our garage

chicken chili and beer bread and honey butter (oh my)

extra coffee

annnnd it's beginning to look a lot like christmas

see you in the new year, friends :)

home sweet new home

we're in the middle of moving week. which makes today grammie's in town let's gear up for the next five days and go on a date to nord's and sunergos while she hangs out with our boys who gladly wave bye-bye to us day. ahhhh :)

i've been doing lots of packing and thinking lots of moving thoughts.  like how somehow when it's time to start packing, things that have no value (hello, blender without a base) suddenly seem valuable and how it's challenging to pack up a room when i feel kind of guilty throwing away bobby pins and how it's awesome to fill our lego box to overflowing with all the lost legos i'm finding and how really instead of writing CLOTHES on a box, i'd rather specify: a. clothing i currently wear, b. clothing i think is cute and would probably wear if i could just get a sister to louisville to show me how to wear it, c. clothing with sentimental significance i never wear but would never part with (here's winking at you t-shirt with photo of jeremy and me on the front), or d. clothing i found on clearance at gap OR the j.crew jeans i bought for nine dollars at plato's closet. nine dollars!

after months of delay -- actually, jeremy told me it's been 100 days since we signed our contract -- we found out yesterday that we'll officially close on our house friday at 4. just shy of the end of the week -- thank you, Lord! after that we'll go from packing and cleaning the apartment we're moving out of (sigh. it's going to be tough to leave my newly sparkling fridge.) to cleaning and painting and unpacking in the house we're going to call home for quite a while. and probably put Christmas lights on in a few weeks. amazing.

shortly after setting the closing date, i had the um we're ACTUALLY moving moment, the moment i realized just exactly how excited i am for this house to be ours: when i filled a box with the boys' big LOUD trucks, the ones that make such delightfully realistic truck noises on our hard wood floors, the ones i'm sure sound like thunder to our neighbors below. so excited.

so. i guess i'll check in soon from massie avenue. :)

until then, here's judy-jude dancing. to this song. it's his favorite. much to his father's dismay and his mother's i'll play any song twelve times a day especially if it's from the wicked soundtrack delight.

got it :)

the (boys actually in their costumes) photo. :)