actual falling asleep thoughts of note

dear spencer the rotweiller in the apartment below me,
just because you're getting bigger, it doesn't mean your bark has to get louder. okay, yes, i realize it probably does.

dear rachel my new hairstylist,
i believe a would-you-rather my husband concocted having to do with a hairstylist who compassionately bases hairstyles on personalities vs. a human windmill may have inspired me to share personal details of my life that i would not have otherwise volunteered during a hair goal discussion. i am, however, pleased with the results. thank you.

dear low-quality music that i'm pretty sure is low-quality but i don't actually think is bad,
i like you. a lot. here's lookin' at you, mmm-bop. you too, ashlee simpson. no, seriously.

dear almost-asleep-but-not-actually-asleep mode,
you're not too bad.

loooooooove,
jessie

hmm

i had this funny day where i kept thinking in writing, if that makes sense. so, i made a list, attempting to turn these thoughts into words, except they wouldn't be blog-words until at least 8 pm, because my family's laptop goes to and fro with jeremy during the day. then i got to thinking about how words were written down before computers, and i promise, the first thing i thought of was jane eyre, how the author of jane eyre (charlotte bronte :) ), hand-wrote jane eyre. right? it was a small thought but a good one. it did not, however, inspire me to first write out this entry by hand. anyway,

here's the list:

to blog:

about trains

parade book

being new

pretending it's spring vs. accepting it's winter

whimsy

settling in

herb garden

joseph's anger as expressed by low keys on the piano - so appropriate and understandable

here are the thoughts inspired now as i look at the list:

1. we pulled up to a stop sign on sunday morning, running a tad late for church, and the railroad crossing guards started blinking and coming down. i consider this one of the best parts of my neighborhood, that at any given time, one can be caught behind a train on their way to wherever they were going, and regardless of how late or just on time they were going to be, the train will set that back about 4-7 minutes. or, if you are joseph sitting in the middle of the back seat, it's one of the most anticipated moments of the week, the railroad crossing guards that we see in books, act out with the train set, note with "ding-ding-ding-ding" at every sight of a yellow x sign, these guards are actually moving before your very eyes. and. there's about to be a train. i wonder how many 19-month-old little boys living in train-obsessed 19-month-old land get this opportunity every day. and for me, the train was a welcome you-cannot-get-there-on-time-if-you-try pause. i liked it.

2. parade. it's one of my favorite library books ever.

3. being new. eh. another time. (it's hard, though.)

4. this morning i couldn't stop trying to decide if i was going to pretend it's an early, cold start to spring in february or accept the fact that it's still winter. then it started snowing, making success at the non-reality early-spring invention very difficult to achieve.

5. whimsy. joseph's room is all whimsy. i like what donald miller's friend, bob, says about whimsy: "...it's that nagging idea that life could be magical; it could be special if we were only willing to take a few risks." hmm.. it's better within the context of the paragraph.

6. settling in is difficult for me because i keep pretending that i don't need to, as if i'm going to be going back to something else that i'm already settled into. i'll talk about that another time too. yes, i'm probably avoiding difficult subjects.

7. joseph and i planted an herb garden sent to us by his grammie. i can't wait until we get to see little green sprouts coming out of the soil. oh spring, please come soon. little herbs, can you help spring to come soon?

8. oh man. the best for last. this morning, joseph got really frustrated with his train set. sometimes he can't figure out how to get the engine with magnetic cars through the tunnel by pushing gently, so a lot of the time, the train comes apart in the middle of the tunnel or goes off the track. or, in this morning's case, a car or two comes apart and he makes his own little train wreck in frustration. after the train wreck, he was still really upset, so he stood up, marched over to the piano, lifted the cover off the keys, and (staring at me) banged on the lowest notes. i was actually really impressed because it struck me as such an appropriate expression of trainwreck-induced anger. it was realllly funny.

alright. the end of my writing/thinking for the day.